How to reset your life → When you're ready for a change
Reset your life
Takeaway: In this post, I explain the importance of resetting your life when you realize that you are not where you want to be and feeling like you're stuck in where you’re at in life and need a life reboot.
Table of Contents
IS IT TIME FOR A CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE?
If you find yourself thinking more and more that it’s time for a change in life, it usually means you’ve been repeating the same experiences, getting overwhelmed more often, experiencing chronic stress or maybe you’re just not feeling much pleasure anymore in activities that used to be exciting.
Perhaps it's simply reaching a point in life of being tired from trying so hard and finding that you’re still not where you want to be in life. It’s just not coming together. Rebooting your life is often what is needed.
Whatever change you want, it’s likely a thought that you’ve been stewing on for some time. In fact, if you stop and really consider the timeframe, you may be surprised at how long you’ve been holding on and wishing for things to change.
Unfortunately, the desire that comes from wanting circumstances or things in life to change can linger for years… and even decades. Thinking about making changes in life is easy, actually doing it is the hard part.
“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” —J. Pierpont Morgan
Deep down there is often a knowing, “it shouldn't have to be so hard”. So instead of actually being proactive and making the change, we choose to wait it out and hope that things will change on their own. Sometimes it does but oftentimes, it doesn’t.
Rebooting Your Life
Our brains are similar to computers in many ways. We are hard wired (programmed) with deep-seated beliefs that are buried deep in the mental space of the subconscious.
This programming is our thinking, our mindset. If it is negative, rigid or self-defeating, you will find many struggles in life and making changes will be even harder.
Re-booting is a tech reference and the relevance in that to our lives is that we are mentally wired in a similar fashion.
With technology, we have to do a hard reboot and an intentional upload to change old programming when the system is stalling, no longer efficient or effective.
In fact we have to quite often reboot our phones, computers, iPad and other technical device. We do this because it is a system requirement that helps improve the efficiency of the devices operating system.
Rebooting and reprogramming helps do things such as freeing up memory occupied by unnecessary files, files no longer needed or necessary.
“The world as we have created it is a process of thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” Albert Einstein
Without upgrading, rebooting or restarting, the performance usually degrades, and you’ll see things like spinning wheels while you’re waiting on a program, slow loading web pages, and programs that take longer than normal to open. In addition, you can be even more prone to viruses and hackers. (In life that could like toxic relationships.)
Update your system, browser, and important apps regularly, taking advantage of automatic updating when it's available!
So why this correlation with computers? It’s because our brains are similar to the operating system of computers. Only thousands of times, more efficient, when running properly. And thousand times more powerful at keeping us stuck when it’s not running properly.
“You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.”
—Marianne Williamson
We have an extraordinary deep programming called the subconscious and it is here that we hold all our memories, experiences, habits, and beliefs. It is an absolutely incredible repository of our life that we don’t actually have to think about because it is where all things automatically are built into.
The issue is that when we have repeating thoughts or core beliefs that are negative, fearful or unhealthy, our brain will wire this type of thinking into the subconscious making it difficult to break out of.
Life starts feeling like it is in a mode of repetition with looping thoughts, anxious feelings, heightened stress and feeling stuck. Where is that reset button?
Rebooting yourself shouldn’t just have to come after waiting for a breakdown or when you reach a crisis. If you are beginning to find you are at this point, start now.
Why Growth is Hard
What does resetting your life entail? It entails learning new ways of thinking, feeling and behaving. It means growing out of the outdated even the outdated feels comfortable.
And it may mean leaving a current situation in order to get a better perspective. Growth is hard because change is hard and growing pains are not just what happens in childhood or adolescence! It is experienced through adulthood.
When you reset your life, you are allowing more space for new things and experiences to enter as you are let go of what is no longer working. The issue is that the brain likes to hold onto what is familiar.
When the brain feels safe, it does not necessarily want to a reboot.
It is up to you to consciously reboot your life and take charge. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
Good or bad, it will revert to operating from the place that is familiar because this is a part of its hard wiring, to keep you in the safety of what is familiar.
When you do make the decision for change, to reset yourself, it can bring forth a sense of excitement to immense fear and insecurity knowing that past patterns and behaviors will need to change as part of the process.
Challenges of Change
The challenges of changing oneself is a struggle that many people go through every year. (Think New Year's resolutions) The start of the year always seems like a good time for reflection and planning. This time of the year brings thoughts like... wanting to lose weight, improving health, changing jobs, leaving a relationship, quitting drinking and so forth.
All of these ideas about change sound like incredible personal progress and the idea of being and feeling better energizes motivation. These exciting ideas become resolutions. So why is it so common that these start-of-the-year resolutions fizzle out and we find ourselves right back to where we started, or worse? We find ourselves staying stuck in a relationship or career that has long run its course.
Defeat can happen for a number of reasons but often the mind can envision the change as being too big. Alternately, we simply don’t believe it’s actually possible at our core; the core being the level of the subconscious.
Re-setting is a type of mental re-frame that the mind can usually accept with more ease than the abrupt mental idea of change. For better or for worse, the mind will hold on to old conditioned patterns because they are familiar and what is familiar means it is safe.
“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” Leo Tolstoy
Five Things To Do To Change Your Life
Whether you want drastic changes or subtle shifts to make something good in your life even better, the mere fact you are focusing on self-improvement and moving forward takes you closer to your goal than you realize!
Here are five things you can do to change your life for the better.
Make physical space around you!
Start allowing new things and experiences to enter. How? Declutter! Get rid of old mail, paper or things that clutter your environment. That environment could be your office, car, bathroom. Whatever area would make the most impactful feeling for you. This is something tangible where you can see immediate results.
Write down specifically “why” you want to make this improvement in your life.
This is not a free-flow type of writing. Be intentional and write the majority of it in the positive. For example, I want to be in a supportive loving relationship /vs/ I am miserable. I am ready to start experiencing success /vs/ I’m tired of feeling stuck and broke.
Clean up and heal your past.
If you are still living your life with old thinking patterns, regrets, resentments, anger and fear, it’s time to start healing and empowering yourself. This could mean therapy, coaching or self-help classes. Whatever you need, get this support to start moving forward.
IDENTIFY HOW YOU HAVE SELF-SABOTAGED YOURSELF IN THE PAST WHEN YOU TRIED TO CHANGE.
What specifically stopped you from completing your resolution, your goal, your intention? Was it a person? A belief about yourself? Really be honest in finding that reason so that the awareness can be a focus to get help with or to yourself when you put more energy into pushing through.
lOOK FORWARD TO THIS PROCESS!
Find enjoyable activities that contribute to the change you desire. The activities could be small and incremental. Each time you do, smile to yourself and know, you are getting better and better.
And remember that you are never too old to change!
If not now, when?
fresh start
So, what is next for you? Have you been under chronic stress, involved in toxic relationship, issues with losing weight? The issues and endless and sometimes it’s not even really knowing what it is. All you know is that you are ready to start fresh in life and really start living.
Are you at a place in your life where you just feel like you want to reboot everything, get a new perspective but not sure how? I get it. What are your ultimate goals?
Where you should start to reboot your life. To start fresh suddenly in your life after doing something similar for so long can seem overwhelming because life just has too many moving parts and doing it alone can feel defeating if you don’t see changes soon enough.
A life coach but more specifically a Mindset Coach can be very beneficial at this juncture of your life to not only give you the support but also help you change deep embedded programming.
This level of work when done right can significantly shift many different areas of your life (health, wealth, relationships, career).
Approach this work as an investment in your life and look forward to a sound return in your investment!
Jacqueline Connors, MA is a Psychotherapist and Transformative Mindset Coach who has worked in the private and public sector in leadership roles. She is trained in Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) Neurolinguistics Programming (NLP), Hypnosis, Brain-Based Coaching and Lean Management. Jacqueline has a unique blend of skill sets derived from psychology, business and neuroscience and an understanding of how to apply the best from each discipline into an effective coaching experience.
